This International Woman's Day, as we celebrate all of the AMAZING accomplishments of women, let's also address some of the things we don't talk about, like how so many women suffer from low self esteem and confidence-begging the question, how do we build a better self esteem?
With the amount that women do on a daily basis; work, kids, domestic life, relationships, it often leaves most of us with little to know time to take care of ourselves. When we do take care of our selves, our self esteem and confidence may not be at the top of the list. Recently, I had the chance to ask my friend and personal development coach Ailie Steel, some questions on how we can each improve our self esteem. Here are Ailie's answers to my questions:
Mindfullness Mentor and Personal Development Coach Ailie Steel @ailiesteel
Nic Hyl: What are some things we can do right away, to help improve our self esteem?
Ailie Steel: I would always look at how you start your day. If you have low self-esteem, I would put a positive affirmation message beside your alarm clock, so it’s the first message you see, put together an empowering playlist to listen to while you get ready and avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible if all you do is criticize yourself.
NH: What things are we doing that contribute to poor self esteem?
AS: Cut down the amount of time spent looking at yourself. If we looked at even the most beautiful painting for hours every day of our life, we would find something wrong with it. If you can’t cut down how long you need to spend looking at yourself, change your relationship with looking at yourself. Spend as much time having fun dancing and seeing yourself happy and focusing on that or pulling funny faces to make yourself laugh. This is a much healthier relationship than only looking at yourself to find problems.
NH: How does our negative self talk affect the people around us, particularly our children who may hear it?
AS: It has a massive impact. How we talk about ourselves dictates what’s okay for other people to say to us or make them think that they can treat us in a certain way. If we don’t value ourselves, it can communicate to other people that they don’t need to value us highly either. This is also the message that we are giving to any children around us too.
What could you be teaching your child about their self esteem by what you show them about yours
NH: Why is it that women are more susceptible to low self esteem?
AS: I’m always careful to make any generalizations because low self-esteem can show up in different people in different ways, so it’s a tough thing to measure. Also, men aren’t given the space to talk about their low self-esteem, so it’s likely they struggle with it a lot more than we know.
NH: Do men suffer from self esteem in the same way?
AS: Absolutely! As I said before, in the last question, many men don’t feel like they have the option to be able to talk about it or vocalize their feelings. They have so much pressure in different ways, and I never underestimate the difficulties that they face with self-esteem either.
Have more questions? Want to work with Ailie directly? Contact her on social @ailiesteel