As embarrassing as it may be, we’ve all been ghosted. In this age of technology, we can be everywhere and nowhere at once, and while this can be used to keep up with our loved ones, it’s terrifying when someone you care about is nowhere to be found on any plane of existence. Whether your boo doesn’t show up to date night or they left you on read, you still gotta know how to act. Here are three tips on how not to act when you’ve been ghosted.
Stop Blaming Yourself
You can claim up and down that you just wanna be a good person and grow from this experience, but we all know you are tearing yourself apart trying to figure out what’s wrong with you that makes you unloveable. You are not unloveable. And you’re not too ugly, fat, poor, or whatever else you thought of when your POI (Person of Interest) didn’t respond to your double text wheN YOU KNOW THEY SAW IT JUST ANSWER! The sooner you remind yourself that you are perfect the way you are, the sooner you can heal from this rejection.
2) Stop Trying to Figure Out What You Did Wrong
Stop trying to convince yourself that you sipped your coffee weird and that’s why they went out with their friends last Friday night and not with you to that new bar that opened up on 7th. You don’t drink weird, and that’s not a good enough excuse to ghost you. You can go over every little thing you did and you still won’t know what went wrong because your POI isn’t here to tell you. And that’s so rude of them! You at least have to give the mandatory “sorry this isn’t going to work I just have (insert some lazy excuse here.)” If they don’t they’re trash and rude and you don’t need to hang out with rude trashy people. It’s not good energy.
3) Stop obsessing
Move on. You don’t need them to like you. You’ve still got air to breathe. You’ve still got deadlines to meet. And above all else, you are still whole. You don’t need anyone else to validate your existence. Some stranger not immediately falling in love with you does not make you any less of a person.
This is why some people casually date multiple people at the same time, because if one falls off then there’s always someone else. But even if there isn’t someone else there to answer the Friday night text, the same principles apply. There is always going to be someone else out there for you. Focusing on one person who decided to go another way means you’re not focusing on you or the people in front of you, or yourself. Shake them off. If they found it so easy to leave they wouldn’t have been a good partner anyway.
Thank you so much for reading you guys. Like this post if you’d like to hear more from me and comment what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done after being ghosted. I’d love to hear from you! Know anyone else who loves Insecure? Feel free to share this post, the more the merrier. We’ll have more articles like this so feel free to follow us on Insta @tiesidesandscoops and feel free to follow me @sahra.bae. See you soon!